A Brotha from Anutha Motha

If you had a brother from another mother somewhere out there in the world, would you want to know? Would you want to find him? Would you be concerned about connecting with him in fear of hurting either of your mother's feelings? How would the Mom's feel about it? Would each of them encourage or discourage you to find someone who was half related to you?

I'm personally in this dilemma myself, in fact, my son has two half brothers, and both of them are from other mothers, but the three boys are all related and I want to see them "together" or at least to meet each other. If I'm not mistaken, all three of the boys are "only" children from each of those mothers. I know now that the oldest boy, also has his own child, so that would mean that the other two boys are uncle's to this child. Half uncles, but still uncles.

What would you do if you KNEW you had found one of the "other brothers" but he had NO idea who you were, this "weird" woman contacting me via the internet. Do I dare to tell this young man that he has a half brother? Does he even know that he has these other two brothers? Has his Mom ever said to him, "Honey, you have two half brothers out there in this world."

My son knows he has two half brothers and has recently been doing web searches for them. Now I'm concerned that he'll find them and not handle this delicately and he'll just say, "Hey, I'm your half brother." Now, the recipient of that news will go "HUH? What are you smokin'?" Or will he say, "Cool, I always knew I had a brother out there, but had no idea how to find you or where to even begin." His mother and I were never close, because, well, you know, the ole love triangle sort of plays in here and we were always kept away from each other, never allowed to share notes. I was young and vulnerable in the big city. It's all history now and all of us have moved on with our lives. For the sake of "getting in the middle" I'm sorry that I did that, but I don't regret having my son. At this point in our lives, I just think it would be so awesome for him to know his brother, even if he was only a half brother.

I DID find one of my son's half brothers and now I'm not sure which step to take next. I've told my son's biological father that my son wants to meet the oldest half brother, who now lives in NC, but who knows if he'll help us to "make it happen". Hopefully, I'll hear from the middle son's aunt who I knew first so I can run it past her, to see what they know and if she thinks that the middle son is even interested. I know if I were the one with other siblings out there, I would want to know them.

How would you feel about it? What would you do? Should I pursue this or let well enough alone??