Grief Stricken? Do you Believe?

It is so very important for family members to attend funerals and to accept the death of a parent or sibling. Here are some ramblings of my life's lessons in dealing with grief. I hope you enjoy as it did bring tears to my eyes while writing.

I'll never forget, when I was 12 years old, my eldest sister passed at 24 (she died from a juvenile diabetic coma, no one was around to help her at the time, she went to sleep and never woke up), but when I was 12, I was too young to realize or I hate to say it, care, because she had been away at school since I was much younger, so I never really got to know her. That happened in 75, maybe it was 73, (the numbers aren't adding up), but anyway, my brother got married in 1978, family all travelled to Ft Kent, Maine (on the Canadian border) and did the marriage thing and during that ceremony is when it finally struck me that Linda (my sister) was gone for good, that a part of our family was missing from such a big family celebration. I still didn't cry, but I was in a funk during that entire wedding/reception. The family all returned to PA and had the 2nd wedding reception for family and friends here locally. That night, my brother pulled me aside and I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I don't think I ever remember crying so much. My brother who is the greatest man, most compassionate person I've ever known (1 boy with 5 girls -he had all these sisters lol) had never in his life held me in the strongest/longest hug/hold. I will never forget it or the exact spot in my Mom's house where it happened. I wonder if he remembers that time slot in our lives. That was my grieving moment, grieving for the loss of my sister who had passed only a few years earlier, but it too was the best thing and way overdue. I still did well in school prior to that time and still went on with life because I was just a kid, but I'll never forget that moment when my brother held me in his arms while I sobbed. That's why I feel so strongly about family, as we have all since been through so many things which makes family even that much more important. I'm a huge fan of "John Edwards; the medium who "talks to the dead". Some people think it's hokey, but I don't. I truly believe that all of us are born with the gift, our heart just needs to be open to receive it. I'm not a real religious person (8am mass on Sunday is way too early :-) but all of us kids went when we were little, religiously for lack of a better word.

Before my dad was told that there was no turning back, that it was just a matter of time for him (weeks), Dad was lying in his hospital bed, I was home from DC to see Dad before he got too sick to the point of unrecognizable or oblivious to the fact that I was there to see him (so glad I was able to be here). Mom and a few of us were setting around the kitchen table discussing what was coming, losing Dad was just too unbelieveable, he was only 61, we were trying to decide if we should bring him home and do the hospice thing, etc. Well, as we were talking, in the other room (the dining room), there is an old grandfather's clock which sets on a shelf. No one had fooled with that thing since my grandfather passed shortly before my sister Linda, that might have been '73 that he passed, maybe a tad earlier. It had just sat there, never chimed, was your basic dust collector.

Remember the children's song (it happened like this with Grandpa's clock)

My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor.
It was taller by half, than the old man himself,
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born,
And was always his treasure and pride.
Chorus:
But it stopped short, never to go again,
When the old man died.
Ninety years without slumbering, tick, tock, tick, tock,
His life seconds numbering, tick, tock, tick, tock,
It stopped short never to go again,
When the old man died.

Ok, so anyway, we were setting around the kitchen table and out of the blue, that dang clock chimed, no one was next to it and it was officially 11am-ish and the clock said 1pm. A few of us heard it chime (me being one of them) and my nephew (11 yrs old) came from the living room where he was watching TV and said "What was that". It was the strangest thing that I've ever experienced. At 11am-ish, the doctor was scheduled to tell Dad of his situation. It was almost as if Grandpa had come to let us know that everything would be OK, that he was there for Daddy. It was such a heartwarming experience. We went to the hospital later in the day, told Dad and he said, my Dad is just letting us all know it'll be OK. Since Dad has passed, Mom senses Dad's presence in the house all the time, she also hears my grandfather (we all lived in our grandfather's home and he lived with our entire family) shuffling through the house (he sort of dragged his feet when he walked) and she finds pennies around the house in places where that the only explanation would be someone other than her (she lives alone) had left them there. Ever heard the phrase "pennies from heaven"? So anyway, I guess my point is that Dad is still around all of us, mostly Mom I'm guessing, but I believe they watch over us even from "the other side".

Feel free to share your comments about things which have happened to you in my comments section. I would love to hear of other people's experiences.